A Guide for Finding the Right Therapy to Fit Your Needs

Figuring out therapy and all the different options can be overwhelming when you’re already struggling to manage depression. Here’s an easy guide to explore your goals and identify the right therapy for you.

Therapy is often a crucial aspect of recovery and symptom management for people living with depression.

Therapeutic techniques can help us build a scaffold to weave our coping mechanisms to until we’re ready to move ahead without additional support.

But too often, we hop on the first recommendation and then struggle to continue when the therapist doesn’t meet our expectations or solve all our issues in one go.

So, first, it’s important to determine what type of therapy and therapist you need, and it might be easier than you think.

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What role can therapy play in managing my depression?

Many of us still fear therapy and that dreaded couch, where they make you talk about your feelings. It’s understandable — it’s hard to look inward.

However, that introspection has the potential for transformation if it empowers us to manage and recover from depression.

“Therapy is important in managing depression since it aids in the identification of the causes and developing coping strategies to deal with it,” says Niloufar Esmaeilpour, clinical counselor, EMDR therapist, and founder of Lotus Therapy.

“Individuals learn about their thinking and behavioral patterns and how they relate to their depressive symptoms through various therapeutic techniques,” Esmaeilpour says.

Our loved ones play an important role in supporting us through life — it’s part of the community exchange we all become part of when we show up in the world. But our love for one another can make objectivity difficult, so we must extend our support network beyond family and friends.

Figuring out what you need from therapy

Finding the right therapy starts with figuring out what your core needs are. Do you need immediate intervention? Do you want to confront traumatic memories or develop healthier coping mechanisms?

“In acute phases of depression, one should seek something that provides immediate relief and stabilization in that regard,” Esmaeilpour says. “In many instances, crisis intervention therapy offers immediate support and safety planning.”

With emergency care accounted for, reflect on what’s impacting your depression the most. Find a journal and dump every errant thought onto the page to get an aerial view of your brain’s makeup. Then, ask yourself what feels like the most pressing issue to address first.

“A good first step would be to identify any particular patterns, behaviors, or triggers that feel like they could be related to an experience of depression,” says psychotherapist Eloise Skinner. “It’s key to clarify what you want to work on and how you would like to feel should therapy go well.”

“For example, I feel low, and it’s getting in the way of me doing the things I used to love; I want to feel happier and able to get back into my life; I feel anxious and want to be able to socialize more,” she continues.

Dating around to meet the right therapist

Finding the right therapist is akin to finding a compatible life partner — it takes trial and error. You might luck into a connection on the first outing but don’t lose patience if it takes more than one attempt.

“A sense of trust is incredibly important — you should feel as if you can build a trusting relationship with them over time,” Skinner says. “You should also feel a sense of safety, acceptance, and understanding.”

Identifying the right type of therapy

Therapy has come a long way since the days of Freud, so you benefit from a rich array of therapeutic modalities to choose between. Research your options. Too many of us settle for the first available therapy and give up when it doesn’t quite gel.

Think about what would speak to you most. Do you need therapy with a direct approach? Would you like a therapist who gives you homework every week? Do you want to focus on learning how your brain works?

“Some people may prefer a more directive approach, such as CBT, which provides precise advice and homework assignments,” says therapist Sophie Cress. “Others may benefit more from psychodynamic therapy, which investigates unconscious patterns and the impact of previous events on present behavior.”

Breaking down the types of therapy

This is not an exhaustive list, but the following outlines today’s most commonly used therapies:

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a generalized approach to therapy that can help people with a range of issues.

“CBT is the gold standard treatment for anxiety disorders including OCD, panic disorder, and health anxiety,” says CBT and EDMR therapist Ioana Rotaru. “If someone is experiencing an anxiety disorder, I would highly recommend them to see a CBT therapist.”

“However, CBT is not limited to just anxiety disorders as it has an evidence base for depression, insomnia, chronic pain, and long-term conditions,” she adds.

CBT is especially helpful for learning about your triggers, interrupting unhealthy thought cycles, and learning how to break them for good.

Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)

“DBT is a form of cognitive behavioral therapy that cements strategies such as mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interpersonal effectiveness,” explains Esmaeilpour.

Although originally developed to treat patients with borderline personality disorder, dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) has now been adapted to help with emotional dysregulation, which is often seen in depression and eating disorders.

“I’ll recommend DBT to patients who have overpowering emotions or are involved in self-harming behaviors or suicidal thoughts,” Esmaeilpour says. “This is particularly effective for these people due to its structured approach and a focus on building practical skills for managing emotions and improving relationships.”

Psychodynamic therapy

“If depression’s been around for a long time, and you haven’t found another therapy that worked for you before, it may be worth trying long-term psychotherapy, including psychodynamic therapy, which can be effective as it delves into deep-seated issues and helps in understanding long-term patterns and behaviors,” says Dr. Sophie Mort, a clinical psychologist and mental health expert at Headspace.

The process focuses on “internalizing” coping mechanisms, such as social withdrawal, depression, and PTSD, so it’s less suitable for those experiencing only “externalizing” coping mechanisms, like impulsivity or aggression.

“Psychodynamic therapy is a technique of fathoming unconscious processes and ways in which past experiences engender present behavior and current affective functioning,” Esmaeilpour says. “It best fits patients who desire to deeply understand their inner life and the psychological underpinnings of their problem.”

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy (EMDR)

Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy (EMDR) is commonly used to treat people living with unresolved trauma, particularly long-term trauma or enduring depression.

The modality specifically focuses on memories that just won’t stop haunting you.

“EMDR is suitable for anyone that has distressing memories or experienced stressful or traumatic events that are still impacting them in the here and now,” Rotaru says. “It can be used with people with PTSD, anxiety, and depression.”

The therapy, which has existed since the 1980s, asks the client to focus on distressing memories — one at a time — while engaging in bilateral stimulation, like side-to-side eye movements or tapping.

While research has proven its efficacy, we still don’t know exactly how it works. The leading theory is that the brain wants to heal and knows how to, but it needs stimulation to make that happen, and that’s what EMDR does.

“Clients undergoing EMDR need to be able to tolerate a certain level of anxiety and distress as part of the processing; they need to be present in their body and mind to notice what’s happening; they need to be able to tolerate feeling worse before it gets better,” Rotaru explains.

Integrative therapy

“Integrative therapy — a technique that brings together methods from various forms of psychotherapies — is focused, and therefore, can be oriented diagnostically to suit the individual needs of the person with long-standing depression,” Esmaeilpour says. “It won’t exclude any facet of individuals’ mental health and offers a holistic approach to recovery.”

This type of therapy is ideal for people struggling to find a therapy that fits their needs. Integrative therapists use various techniques to create a treatment plan that fits your specific needs.

“This would be recommended for patients with major or numerous mental health issues that no one therapeutic approach might do justice to,” Esmaeilpour adds. “Integrative therapy would also apply to people who appreciate flexibility and adaptability in the process of therapy — something which can evolve with time based on changing needs.”

Takeaway

Ultimately, the answer to the question, “What’s the right kind of therapy?” lies with you.

There’s no one-size-fits-all approach because all of our brains react differently to mental stress and trauma and we all respond differently to therapy.

So first step? Figure out how to find and apply therapeutic techniques that meet your unique needs. Trust your instincts and let them lead you to a type of therapy that fits.