February 29, 2024
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Anyone can ghost for a number of reasons, but depression may make it more likely. Here’s how depression and ghosting are connected, plus some tips for communicating differently.
Ghosting can happen to anyone, and anyone can do it.
Commonly used as a relationship-ending strategy, ghosting can be employed on text and call apps, social media, and dating apps, and it can involve anything from simply not responding to someone to blocking them.
For people with depression and other mental health conditions, ghosting can also be the result of symptoms.
Here’s why someone might ghost, how ghosting is connected to depression, some tips for communicating, and a few ways to cope with being ghosted.
Generally, ghosting is the sudden, one-sided ending of a relationship by cutting off all communication with no warning or explanation.
The ghoster stops sending or responding to messages and calls, no longer initiating or returning contact, while the ghostee is left wondering what’s happening and why.
Ghosting can happen in any kind of relationship, including friendships, romantic partnerships, and family relationships.
But ghosting isn’t necessarily permanent. Sometimes, it can be temporary. People may go through periods of ghosting, in which they stop responding to friends and family for some amount of time, but may then find their way back to their social circles.
Whatever the reason and duration, ghosting can be distressing for the ghostee and, sometimes, for the ghoster.
People ghost for a million different reasons.
Maybe someone ghosts because of a combination of personality traits. Maybe it’s related to current circumstances in their life or to their feelings about their relationship with the ghostee.
Some possible reasons for ghosting are:
Part of ghosting, however, is that the ghostee may never really know why the ghosting happened or how things could have gone differently if a conversation had taken place instead.
In the context of mental health, ghosting can take on new meanings.
If you’re wondering whether your depression is making you ghost people, the answer is that it’s quite possible. While people with mental health conditions can certainly ghost for the same reasons as people without those conditions, there are often other factors at play.
The authors of a wide-ranging 2023 research review examined the many ways depression affects social ability and social functioning. They found that depression is likely a major factor in ghosting, or “social avoidance,” meaning depression can make you ghost people.
Decades-long studies included in the review show that depression and depressive symptoms can affect the way that people forge, keep up with, and end relationships. In fact, it’s common for relationships between people with depression and their loved ones to be interrupted by periods of emotional distance.
The review also notes that social cognitive performance (the ability to engage in social behavior) is negatively correlated with depression severity. That means that the more severe someone’s depression is, the harder it is for them to engage with others socially.
It’s a vicious cycle: Depression can make someone more likely to avoid social situations and disengage socially (aka ghost), which can make depressive symptoms worse, which can make that person even more likely to ghost, and so on.
Just like people without depression, people with depression may ghost for many reasons.
Drawing from a large number of studies, the same 2023 review and another 2023 study report that people with depression often show symptoms and behaviors that can increase the likelihood that they will engage in ghosting as a coping mechanism.
Compared to people without depression, people with depression are more likely to:
On top of all that, common symptoms of depression can make it difficult to socialize or keep up with friends and loved ones, including:
Even people whose depression is in remission may have a harder time with social interactions. A 2017 study found that, compared to people without depression, people whose depression was in remission were still more likely to avoid socializing.
Taken together, all this can make people with depression turn to ghosting, whether consciously or unconsciously.
When you have depression, the temptation to ghost can be strong. You may even start ghosting unintentionally, without realizing it’s happening.
But more likely than not, you’ll come away feeling worse, and so will the ghostee. Instead of cutting off contact, here are some strategies for healthier communication:
If you’ve been ghosted, it can be difficult to process and accept what’s happening, particularly if you have depression.
In fact, a 2017 study found that people with depression showed increased neural reactions to social rejection, which resulted in lower self-esteem and a reduced ability to feel pleasure.
In other words, if you have depression, your brain may experience ghosting differently than the brains of people without depression, making you feel the pain and discomfort of being ghosted more strongly.
Here are some strategies to help you cope with being ghosted:
If you believe a friend or loved one may be ghosting due to depression, here are some ways you can support them:
However, it’s important to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself too. It’s OK to take a break from reaching out to protect your own mental health and practice self-care.
Ghosting, or cutting off communication with someone, can happen for any number of reasons.
For people with depression and other mental health conditions, a combination of symptoms can increase the likelihood of avoiding social situations or interactions, which can lead to consciously or unconsciously ghosting friends and loved ones.
If you feel yourself drifting toward ghosting, try talking about your emotions instead of bottling them up, and address conflict as you’re able to.
While being ghosted is confusing and upsetting, it’s important to remember that it’s not your fault and that ghosting is never a reflection of your self-worth or your actions.
Medically reviewed on February 29, 2024
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