When Your Depression Feels Invisible to Others — Even Your Family

Opening up to loved ones about your mental health is easier said than done, but staying quiet can be painful, too.

Invisible depression is a challenge, but our families can be our greatest allies, if they’re capable of it. If they’re not, then it might be time to find your chosen family.

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4 reasons you might hide your depression from your loved ones

1. Fearing their response

Being afraid of your loved one’s reactions can keep you from wanting to speak up, especially if they’ve previously been dismissive of the validity of mental health struggles.

2. Not wanting them to worry

Maybe you’re avoiding being honest about your struggles because you don’t want your family to worry about you. So, instead, you ensure your depression is hidden as a self-defense mechanism.

3. Overlooking your needs

You might be struggling with putting your loved one’s feelings above your own and minimizing your needs to prioritize theirs. This can heighten when someone else in the family is also struggling with mental health.

4. Avoiding negativity

Sometimes, disengaging from family dynamics feels like the best option. Distancing yourself and canceling events to reduce additional mental burdens can also work to mask your depression.

4 ways to find your voice

1. Speak up to a trusted person

It’s important to stop silencing yourself. Even if others find it difficult to understand, suffering alone is often more damaging. Pick your support network carefully, looking outside of your immediate family if you don’t trust them to respond sensitively.

A mental health professional is another great option for a trusted person.

2. Focus on their intentions

Remember that our loved ones love us, even when we’re hurting. They can’t help if they can’t see it. Honesty is hard, but it’s transformative, too.

3. Remind yourself of your worth

Put yourself first for once by recognizing the importance of discussing and soothing your emotions. Remember that everyone in the family matters equally. There is no hierarchy of worth when it comes to mental health.

4. Set healthy boundaries

While family dynamics are important, your mental health is, too. Taking a break or a step back from your family might be the right choice for you. Be mindful of the pressure to reengage just for the sake of appearances.