How I’m Coping with My Transition to a New Therapist

Changing mental health professionals can be uncomfortable for various reasons. Here are some of the tough emotions I worked through and the steps I’m taking to make the transition as smooth and painless as possible. 

“I think it’s time to start considering moving forward with another therapist who can better suit your needs.”

I knew this was coming but didn’t want to accept it. For the past few months, I’ve hit a dead end in my recovery journey. I’m caught between intense anxiety and depression, and it hasn’t budged despite my therapist’s best efforts.

When my therapist of 9 years suggested I begin the search for someone else with the skills to better support me, I was apprehensive at first.

However, after talking openly with my therapist and assessing my recovery goals, I realized that moving on to a new therapist isn’t a bad thing but a new opportunity to heal.

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Facing feelings of rejection and anxiety

It’s only natural to feel challenging emotions come to the surface when your therapist proposes ending your therapeutic relationship. I’ve relied on my therapist for the better part of the last decade, and the idea of meeting with someone new makes me feel scared, sad, and rejected.

Logically, I know my therapist only wants the best for me and isn’t pushing me away for personal reasons. But part of me feels rejected and like I’m too much for my therapist since she feels like she can’t help me anymore.

I feel scared to move forward because I’m leaving behind a familiar, comfortable relationship with my therapist for the unknown. The sadness trickles in when I think about how close my therapist and I have grown over the past 9 years. I’m going to miss seeing her every week.

All of these feelings are natural and valid. A critical step towards moving to a new therapist was talking to my current therapist about how the idea of the transition makes me feel.

She helped me work through the feelings and reminded me that I’m strong and can endure the change despite my fears and painful emotions.

Shifting my focus to feelings of hope

During our conversation about my apprehensions about finding a new therapist, my current therapist also encouraged me to think about any positive emotions that come up.

When I thought about it for a moment, I realized I not only felt sad and anxious but also hopeful. I can’t deny that I haven’t felt much improvement from therapy over the past couple of months. Hiding beneath my worries resides a shining morsel of hope that encourages me to put my recovery first.

Perhaps I can feel better if I work with a therapist with a new therapeutic modality and fresh perspective.

Finding the best next therapist for me

The search process is one of the most stressful aspects of connecting with a new therapist. The last time I looked for a therapist, I met with seven or eight potential counselors before I landed on one I liked.

Plus, therapists often have long waitlists or don’t take my insurance, so the search process can be long, tedious, and disappointing. On top of that, finding motivation can be extremely challenging with depression.

Luckily, my current therapist was willing to help me as much as possible to streamline the search. She sent me referrals to therapists she thinks have the skills to help me and encouraged me to contact a few before our next session.

Another great resource is the APA Psychologist Locator tool, which allows you to search for providers in your area easily.

My therapist also told me that during the transition process, we can keep meeting so I don’t feel unceremoniously tossed out the door and still receive support until I can find someone new.

Opening up to a new therapist

Even though I love opening up about my mental health in writing for everyone with internet access to see, I struggle to verbalize my struggles to the people in my life. That includes my therapist.

Seeking out a new therapist and sharing with them my entire history of mental health issues and traumas does not sound appealing to me in the slightest and was one of the biggest reasons I didn’t want to find someone new to help me.

When I told my current therapist about this fear, she reminded me that I don’t need to tell my new therapist everything about my life and my struggles. Instead, I can talk about my current problems and keep it at that for now.

She also said that if I sign a waiver, she can speak with my new therapist about my history to give them context so I don’t have to waste my energy and tears trying to fill them in.

Recovery isn’t always comfortable

It all comes down to my ultimate goal for seeing a therapist in the first place — to improve my life and my mental health. While I may enjoy the familiarity of seeing my current therapist every week, we both agree that I’m not improving or feeling better anymore.

We’ve reached a fork in the road. I could stick with my current therapist and feel comfortable yet stuck in unrelenting depression. Or, I can bite the bullet and seek out a new therapist who could jump-start my recovery journey.

Unfortunately, recovery isn’t supposed to be comfortable. It takes a lot of hard work and doing challenging things to heal. Part of that journey is moving on to new therapists and treatments when we need to.

The bottom line

When my therapist told me she wanted me to transition to a new therapist, I was nervous about finding one and opening up to someone new.

However, I realized that my recovery is more important than staying in my comfort zone.